Derpy's Mailbag
by c3r6s9 Starbrooke
Summary: Write letters to ponies and receive answers from the ponies themselves! Anypony is allowed, including background ponies. Not all letters are published. Some may be edited for content, grammar/spelling, and length. **EMAIL ADDRESS TO SEND THE LETTERS TO**: mailbagofderpy at gmail dot com **DO NOT SEND LETTERS AS REVIEWS! THEY WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED!**
1. Chapter 1

((This is my first "story". _Constructive _criticism welcome, haters not welcome! ****DISCLAIMER** I do not own MLP: FiM, Doctor Who, or any other things you may recognize. Credit for these goes to Hasbro, BBC, and the people that own the other stuff you may recognize.**))

Dear Humankind,

You may recall a certain human who went under the alias "Silent Magi". Silent discovered a way to send and receive letters between Equestria and your world, "Earth". Those ponies—ahh, people, who knew of Silent's unexplained connection to our world will recall that it was one day, unfortunately, closed and left to gather dust. I hope ponies and humans alike will be glad to know that I have discovered this connection and chosen to re-open it, hopefully for a long, long time. You may send your mail to my human associates at **mailbagofderpy at gmail dot com**. I do not fully understand how this address works, but I am told you will understand.

I Hope to Receive a Letter Soon,

_Princess Celestia_

Princess Celestia, Co-Ruler of Equestria and Keeper of the Sun

* * *

Dear Fluttershy,

Umm, hello. My name is Sarah. I just wanted to say, umm, you're my favorite pony. Oh, you probably don't know what I mean by that. Uh, there's this thing on Earth, and, it's kind of like a painting, only the pictures move and you can pick what picture to play on it. It's kind of like a record, but with visuals, too. It's called a television (TV for short) and the "shows" played on it are mostly for entertainment. This might sound weird, but people on Earth watch "episodes"—which are like chapters of a book, only you see and hear them, since they're parts of a TV show—that show the lives of you and your friends as a story, starting with the time you defeated Nightmare Moon, and (so far) ending with Shining Armor and Princess Cadence's wedding. It's not like we're spying on you, it's more like a biography, but more fun.

Aaaaaanyway, I wanted to say that you're my favorite. The way you act around ponies is sort of like how I act around people. When I write letters and go on the internet (a sort of communication device that I can be anonymous on), I'm OK, but in real life, where anyone could recognize me, I just freeze up and embarrass myself more. When I saw how much you changed since Nightmare Moon, I thought, _I wish I could be less shy too_. So, umm, I was wondering… How did you overcome your shyness? Could you help me?

Thanks for Your Help,

Sarah Emerson

P.S. I just realized you might not get human names, so just letting you know, I'm a girl (filly).

Dear Sarah,

There are ponies watching my every move? But-but, what if they see my lousy tornado wingpower? Oh, please don't let anypony laugh at me! _Does_ anypony laugh at me? **AAAAAAA**AAAAaaaaaa…

Calm down, Fluttershy. Hello, this is Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy was using my auto-write quill when she sort of ran out and hid inside a tree. I'll go get her.

**.**

**.**

**.  
**

Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm waaay too stressed all the time. Seriously, I get crazy someti-SPIKE! STOP MESSING WITH THE AUTO-QUILL!-Oops! Gotta go!

Sorry about that. You know how Spike can be. Here's Fluttershy.

Oh, um, hello. I, um, I'm glad you like me. Umm, I-It's not easy to overcome your shyness, but if you just talked to somepony—_somebody_—Oh, thanks Twilight. I forgot. If you just find some common ground with somep—body, you can open up better, and then they can help you. I never would have made so many friends without Pinkie, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash to help me. But you don't have to talk to anypony if you don't want to! Just—umm—I, umm, hope my advice helps.

Good Luck,

_Fluttershy_

* * *

((I feel like that ended too abruptly… review? And I'd like to say, please _**don't write your letters as reviews!**_ I consider these spam because a review is for _reviewing_, not sending letters. I look forward to the great letters I'll receive from you guys! :D))


	2. Chapter 2

((Wow, my first story got some good feedback. Whew, I guess I'm too hard on myself. *locks inner Twilight Sparkle in my brain's closet* Anyway, enjoy!))

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

Hi, this is Alixzander, yeah my name's spelled funny I know, but can you see if Twilight has figured out how to teleport humans to Equestria without repercussions yet? I'd love to visit you guys sometime. I really wanna try those cupcakes I keep seeing on your show over here. Any chance you could send some here or bring me there to eat them? I really like cupcakes, and muffins, and cake, and ice cream, and apples, and salad. Ya know...I like just about all of your food. Maybe you could bring me over around the Summer Sun Celebration. I mean, that must be close to the summer Equinox here, so I don't have anything to do...that is if you wouldn't mind of course...

-Alixzander

P.S. Luna is best pony

Dear Alixzander,

I don't think your name is spelled funny. Of course, I don't have much experience with human names, but I think your name sounds exotic and exciting. Why, I know a zebra who moved to Equestria recently with an unusual name, and most ponies think it's wonderful.

In response to your request, I spoke with Twilight Sparkle and my good friend The Doctor, and Twilight says that with some study she could develop a spell of her own to bring you here, but The Doctor said it could cause some dangerous repercussions that aren't worth the risk. Something about celery and "reapers". While it would be interesting to see each other's worlds, I don't believe it will be possible for a while yet. However, we do have the means to send small, inanimate objects between worlds, so I have enclosed a sample of Pinkie Pie's favorite cupcake recipe, zap-apple with extra sprinkles, and an oatmeal muffin specially made by Derpy Hooves. I can't tell you how delighted she was to realize her own popularity in your world. I do hope she receives a letter soon. That would make her very happy.

Luna is best pony? Is this grammatical error on purpose? I have heard of humans doing things like this for amusement. In any case, I'll be sure to tell Luna she has fans. She'll be glad that somepo—some_body _can love her rather than fear her.

Enjoy Your Cupcake and Muffin,

_Princess Celestia_

P.S. I don't suppose you could supply me with a bit of the Dew of the Mountain? I haven't had any since the connection was last closed, and I would love a case for a special occasion.

* * *

((Well, that went well. I like this one better. Maybe because I had a better topic to go on. Thank you, "Alixzander" for your contribution! ^_^))


	3. Chapter 3

((Wow, I'm updating fast. TGI Summer!))

Dear Celestia,

Thanks for replying, I'll be sure to stay in contact to hear more about the teleportation across dimensions thing. But I also want to say that these cupcakes and muffins made my day. Hopefully you can send Pinkie Pie and Ditzy Doo my thanks. Also, I think you have a little trouble with human language. It's Mountain Dew. But yeah enclosed is a case of the stuff and an address for the Walmart I got it from in case you need more. I didn't know if you liked any of the flavored ones, so I just got the original. I really hope you're the real Celestia and not Molestia...

Once again, Luna is best pony.

-Alixzander

Dear Alixzander,

I will be sure to tell Pinkie and Derpy you said thank you. One thing, it has come to my attention that humans were misinformed that Ditzy Doo and Derpy Hooves are two names for Derpy. This is not the case. You see, not everypony is as kind and accepting as the ponies starring in your show. Some ponies feel that just because a pony is different, they have the right to make that pony feel poorly about themselves. A few of those ponies—not many, thank goodness—live in Ponyville. What I'm trying to say is, Ditzy Doo is a rude nickname that's been going around Ponyville since Derpy moved there from Canterlot (they called her worse things in Canterlot, you can imagine)* Also, I think I know what the problem is with me calling the drink Dew of the Mountain. I thought that it was perhaps produced by something along the lines of a magical mountain spring, but now I realize that this is a "brand name". It's a new concept to me, but The Doctor explained that it is simply a way of drawing customers. And, this "Walmart", I will assume it is a store, in which case the address is useless to me, but perhaps I can continue to receive it from human writers. I do hope I'm not troubling you financially. I'd be happy to send you bits for the Mountain Dew in my next letter. There are other flavors? Perhaps you could send me a sample? And who is this "Molestia"? It sounds like it has something to do with the "Rule 34" concept I was recently introduced to. If it is, then I would rather not hear of it, but if it is a threat to Equestria, I must learn all I can about it. By the way, Luna says hello. I told her she should send you a letter directly, but she fears she will only scare you off if she does the talking. Perhaps if you made the first move.

-Princess Celestia

((That was a long one. It felt sort of jumbled up. My recent obsession with Doctor #10 might be making me ADHD. Maybe. Possibly. Anyway:

*Derpy Hooves is the cannon name and therefore the name I chose to refer to her by. Rainbow Dash specifically called her Derpy, the only reason they changed it on iTunes was to appease the OPPP beast, and they only did it halfway anyway. Subtitles, Netflix Instant, and DVD release remained the same.))


	4. Chapter 4

((Yay! More letters coming in! Also, a note about the email address at the end of the chapter))

* * *

Dear Applejack,

Hi there! You're such an awesome pony. I really like your accent, mainly because I'm from a part of the world called Texas, which is like a subregion in a country called the United States. Your personality is also something to be admired. I really liked when the Flim Flam brothers came to Ponyville and challenged you to a cider making contest, because even though they were using their fancy Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 you kept on making that cider in an honest way. Sadly, I could only hope to be as good as you are. Maybe that's another reason you're my favorite. You stay true to your morals, even when things get tough and it'd be easier to just let it all go and do things a less honest way. I wish I was more like you, seriously. How do you do it? It's crazy!

You are best pony,

Adriano

...

Dear Adriano,

Well, that's mighty kind of ya. It's good to know humans got values like us ponies. I've heard rumors about how some a ya are a little rougher around the edges than most a the ponies 'round here. But Sugar, don't go shortin' yourself out. I'm sure you're just as good as anypony—oops, I mean anybody. Gonna get used to that. You are your own person. Don't go comparin' yourself to somepo—someone you're not. You've got strengths, just like anyp—body. Sometimes it's hard bein' honest and true, but my friends and family are always there to help me though it. I reckon there's someone (Yeehaw! I remembered that time!) ya'll can count on to keep you in shape.

Stay True to Yourself,

-Applejack

* * *

((Wow. Applejack is really easy to stay in character. I just have to be a bit careful about stereotyping her wrong. Tell me how I'm doing on that, OK? I've got some roots in that area. Can't go around dishonoring my roots.

About the email address, some people have been complaining about an incomplete address in the first chapter. Yes, I am aware that it is incomplete. That was the result of a slightly unintelligent spam filter. Don't worry, it's in the description as well as right here: mailbagofderpy at gmail dot com. Now stop sending me messages about it. Thank you very much.))


	5. Chapter 5

((Another update for my regular customer! ^_^ Thank you for being the first to write in, I'm glad you like it!))

* * *

Dear Luna,

Your sister said that you thought I would be scared if you wrote to me directly. Well nothing scares me, except spiders, eep! Anyways, just thought I'd say hi and all.

-Alixzander

P.S. do not undo the moderate safesearch on Google.

Since I just ran out of digital paper, here's Celestia's letter too.

Dear Celestia,

Ummmmm...Rule34...maybe you shouldn't let Luna use the Internet... I mean, she is sorta in the alicorn equivalent of being a teenager... right. Or at least block those kind of sites...I'm fifteen and my friends use those sites, but I refrain from their vulgar practices. Luna however, is probably going to be in Internet overload for a while since I'm assuming you're just getting it over there. If it exists...rule34...it's on the web...

-Alixzander

…

Dear Alixzander,

We are pleased that thou dost not fear us. Although we do sometimes use spiders as an accent to our magical spells, we will refrain from such action if it displeases our fans.

-Princess Luna, Co-Ruler of Equestria and Keeper of the Moon

P.S. What is Moderate Safesearch, What is this "Google" thou speakest of?

Dear Alixzander,

We have limited use of the internet through our human writers, but Luna is a bit fearful of it because of what some of our fans have told us. She is only interested in using sites I approve of first. As for Rule34, I have not seen much of it on the internet, and I have been careful to follow instructions given to me by my human contact on how to avoid Rule34 and the like as much as possible. I wouldn't even know what it was if it weren't for a human writer who forewarned me when he gave me access to the internet, and Luna and I are grateful for that warning.

Thank You Very much for Your Concern,

-Princess Celestia

* * *

((Two letters in one! Good thing they were short… 6.9)


	6. Chapter 6

((MOAR NEW WRITERS! I hope I can replicate Rainbow Dash's awesomeness well enough. *fingers crossed!*))

* * *

Dear Rainbow Dash,

You're my favourite pony! You're really awesome and even have adorkable* moments at times! Also, how good are the Daring Do books? I've been trying to get a hold of them but it appears you can't get them outside of Equestria.

Love from,  
Adam

P.S. I've sent a CD of punk rock music with this letter. It's mostly from bands called The Offspring and Green Day. Hope you like it.

_*Human Editor's Note: adorkable=adorable and dorkish. It is a complement to your comedic lines/actions in the show._

…

Hey Adam,

I knew humans would have as good taste as ponies. And, just for the record, I am _beyond _just awesome. I'm pretty sure the official term is "_super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing_" since that one Rainbow Dash Fan Club meeting that one time I heard about cuz I wasn't there; I had, umm, stuff. To do. Somewhere. Yeah, don't tell too many ponies or people about that whole "Daring Do" thing. I don't want the ponies in Cloudsdale to think I'm an egghead or anything. Don't, tell, ANYPONY I said this, but Twilight may or may not be able to lend you the books. But you didn't hear it from me, GOT THAT? Good.

-Rainbow Dash, Best Flier in Equestria and Future Wonderbolt

P.S. I asked Twilight what those "CD"-thingies you sent me were, and she told me Princess Celestia might know, so I asked her and she sent me a "CD Player" and instructions. The music's pretty good, even if I don't always get what they're talking about.

* * *

((Re-read it in RD's voice… success! For two ponies with the same VAs, AJ and RD are very different to write for. Aj's so easy, but RD's a little tricky. Oh well, practice, practice, practice!))


	7. Chapter 7

((Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you know that I may be getting some volunteer staff to go through the mail for me. From now on emails from me—the boss ;)—will be signed "-Starbrooke". IDK what my staff will call themselves. Probably their pony names. But I told them they can do what they want.))

Dear Celestia,

So, here's a case of my favorite Mountain Dew, Red Alert. I figured you might like it 'cause it's supposed to be cherry flavored. But yeah, based on Luna's response to my last letter, I'd say she's probably going to find out what I meant by safesearch being turned off. Sorry about that. Heh heh. Anyways, you might want to either set up therapy sessions or get her to a doctor who can explain all this messed up and provocative stuff to her. I suggest nurse Redheart since she herself is a woman. By the way, do you ponies have female doctors over there, because by the looks of your show, it's very sexist there, with men taking all the harder jobs. It's just my opinion that that's not right, but since you're a... what... a matriarchy or something... I don't know...but you may see that perfectly fine whereas I see it as an offense against women and mares everywhere.

-Alixzander

P.S. say hi to the Mane Six for me, oh and Derpy. Hi Derpy. Thanks for delivering the mail.

…

Dear Alixzander,

Thank you very much for the Mountain Dew. The cherry was a delicious variation. I wouldn't worry too much about Luna. She had been ruling with me for thousands of years and had seen much of the ways of the world before Nightmare Moon, and while Nightmare Moon did scar her, it also made her stronger. Also, she doesn't use search engines. As I said, she has me find the websites and she only goes to sites I've approved. We do have many female doctors, and I have watched the show and I do not see an imbalance between males and females in the workplace. In fact, there are likely many more females in respected positions simply because there are more females in the population. If anything, we could be considered be sexist toward males, but I can assure you that is not the case.

-Celestia

((I hope the ponies don't think too badly of our society :( Well, they're very understanding. Don't forget to review!))


	8. Chapter 8

((Hey guys, don't give me too much credit for all this. Go check out "Pony Mail" by Silent Magi to see where it all began. Really, look it up. I do reference it a few times, so you if you wanna understand the jokes, read the original. ;P))

* * *

Dear Fluttershy,

I know you're shy and all, but one thing, why are you so shy? I know that you've been avoiding questions when you give stories about how you were teased in childhood, but what's the real story? Also, I heard that you don't have a special somepony yet, or have even thought about getting one. I hope you find yours someday, and that they'll be nice to you. You really do fright easily.

Yours truly,

Alixzander

…

Dear Alixzander,

Oh, well, I don't know why I'm shy. Now that I think about it, I just sort of am. It's true, though, I was teased when I was a filly. Most of the foals in my grade made fun of me because I was shy and because I couldn't fly very well. If it weren't for Rainbow Dash standing up for me one summer, I might have been much, much worse. No, I don't have a stallion in my life right now. I suppose if I talked to some stallions… but they probably wouldn't love me back anyway. It's ok. I have lots of new friends, and I'll always have the animals. But maybe someday I will find somepony.

-Fluttershy

* * *

((Poor Fluttershy. She's too nice for her own good. I guess it could be worse. She could be Honda Tohru.))


	9. Chapter 9

((I have noooo liiife over the summer. I have to use substitutes for life. They're called Minecraft, Doctor Who, and Fanfiction. Just a heads up, when school starts I'll be slower with updates, and I'll likely have more writers, so not everyone will get published, and it'll be a while before letters get published at all. I'm not sure how busy I'll be, since I'm starting a new school. I'll try to keep up for my loyal fans and writers!))

* * *

Hi Luna,

Thought I'd check in on ya to see how you're doing. I didn't know you were such a promiscuous mare when you were Nightmare Moon. Although that would explain your sheepishness and social awkwardness. Anyways, just wondering if you've ever played a video game before. As I'm sure you haven't I've included a copy of Minecraft for your computers over there, and also an Xbox 360 with MW3 in it. Don't tell your sister that I gave it to you. She'd kill me for sending you violent games. But hey, I thought they might help you get rid of any PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)-like symptoms. They helped my dad when he came back from war, so maybe they'll help you with the whole Nightmare Moon memories. But I also leaked MW3 to the ponynet so you should be able to play with tons of ponies on it and Minecraft. Personally I'd choose Minecraft for you, you could build your own kingdom and rule it with an iron hoof against creepers and skeletons and spiders and the likes of which I don't really remember. Have fun!

-Alixzander

((Editor's P.S.: I sent Luna a TV and an Xbox 360 Instruction Manual))

…

Dear Alix,

Promiscuous? We hope thou meant disorganized, not the… other thing. We were _alone_ on the moon, after all. We hath played computer games that our sister pre-approved for us, and a game called Tetris, but it became tedious after a time. We shall have Celestia preview the games you sent us, but we are sure she will understand the necessity of the violence in this "MW3". This "Minecraft" soundeth interesting, although we would hope not to have to rule with an iron hoof, but instead be loved by our subjects.

-Princess Luna, Co-Ruler of Equestria and Keeper of the Moon

* * *

((Ooh, ponies in Minecraft. I should send Luna a friend request…))


	10. Chapter 10

((*commits sistercide in a Tennant-deprived rage* SCREW YOUR STUPID MINECRAFT! I! MUST! WATCH! DOCTOR! WHO! *sigh* But, lucky for you readers, her Xbox-hogging gives me more time to update. Yay.))

* * *

Dear Rarity,

Hi there! I just wanted to say how much I love your character on the show. I think you are one of the most under appreciated ponies on the show. I think you have a wonderful personality and you're really kind to everypony (Except maybe Applejack, but you two kind of have clashing personalities, so while I love Applejack, I can sometimes see where you're coming from, sometimes.…) Personally, I LOVED the first dresses that you made for everypony for the Grand Galloping Gala! They were perfect. I just thought I'd say hi, because no one else has yet. Oh, and say hi to Sweetie Belle for me, she's adorable.

Signed,

Grace (not my real name but I'm paranoid about the Internet)

…

Dear Grace,

Oh, you flatter me, dear! Although I must say, it _would _be nice to have a little more recognition. Still, I understand why humans would write to the princess first. Yes, Applejack and I get along fine most of the time, but there are some times when I lose my temper with her. She's just so… unrefined sometimes, but as I say, an unrefined diamond is still a diamond at heart. And thank you, dear. Those dresses are perhaps my most glorious creations to date. I'll admit it was frustrating when my friends asked for more, but they are_ their_ dresses, so they should have them the way they like them.

I'll Send Sweetie Belle Your Hello,

_~Rarity~_

* * *

((My Rarity voice is almost as bad as my Rainbow Dash voice. Well, the more you guys send, the more I write, the better I'll get! :D Did you like the fancy signature? Rarity's too pretty for a normal signature. ;P Also, whoever keeps using this email address to create accounts on various sites under the username "Sparkie", STOP IT because I WILL find you and report you. It's pointless anyway, because I have to activate the accounts for them to even exist. And I'm not activating anything. Sucks for you, fraudulent jerk.))


	11. Chapter 11

((Phineas and Ferb? THAT'S what's keeping me from my future husband? So now BOTH my sisters are Xbox hogs. This is part of the reason I call them Sweetie Em and Stisti Belle. The other reason is… well, they destroy everything they touch. They annoy me enough to earn the name Sweetie Belle. Hey Rarity, I feel ya sister.))

Dear Princess Luna,

I can't believe I get to write to you! I sent along a 3DS and some of my most beloved games from the "Harvest Moon" franchise. It's mainly growing crops and tending to animals, so I know it's an ok game for you to have. I also would like to know if you have any allergies before I send food stuff, this way I don't end up sending you something that might make you ill. I hope I can visit one day. I'd like to be able to talk to you in person. I'm much more of a night person then a daytime person.

Love,

Lily

…

Dear Lily,

Thy gifts pleaseth us. These "Harvest Moon" games are a wonderful time-spender for us whilst we wait for the night to return. We do not have any food allergies that we are aware of, although during our time on the moon, new foods were developed and discovered and we have not had all of them, so there is a possibility that we may be allergic to something. We do not believe any of thy foods would harm us. Thou art free to send whatever foods thy wishes, but nothing more than small, inanimate objects, for last time we questioned this, our friend The Doctor demonstrated the effects by destroying one of our windows… Unfortunately, if we tried to bring thee to our land, Equestria and Earth would begin to shatter. We are pleased that ye can love us rather than fear us, as more and more of thy race hath revealed their love for us.

-Princess Luna, Co-Ruler of Equestria and Keeper of the Moon

((Oh Luna. You had a crappy childhood.

By the way, the person who reviewed under the guest name "Sparkie", 1. I see you read my profile ^_^ and 2. If you are the person making accounts with Derpy's email, and you said you'd do anything for me (:P), then please stop doing that. All the accounts you've made are useless without an activation that will never come, and Derpy's getting a ton of spam. Lose-lose.

In the words of my favorite fanfic author, Reviews=Motivation to Write! Really, I wouldn't have written past the first chapter if I hadn't gotten those first reviews ad that first letter. Thank you Alix~!))


	12. Chapter 12

((Hey guys, just a heads up, if I don't publish your letter, don't re-send it or email me reminding me to publish it. I get a ton of letters a day, and I can't publish all of them. I have a file of letters I might publish in the future, so you might get published soon, but if you spam me, I delete all your letters and block all messages from your address. Not everyone will be published, just accept that and move on.))

* * *

Dear Princess Luna,

How could I not love you? You're sweet, kind, and gentle. In fact, there's a very nice story called _Reign of the Moon_ that you might like! Umm, well, I sent an orange pound cake today, and a book titled _The Diary of Anne Frank_. It's a very touching story and I hope you enjoy it. It's a good thing you told me not to send living things, I almost sent a pet to Fluttershy! Did any punishment happen to Prince Blueblood for how rude he was at the Gala?

Love,

Lily

…

Dear Lily,

We thanketh thee for thy complements. Since our time as Nightmare Moon, we have felt as though our past would cause other ponies to avoid us, but it seems humans are more understanding. We shared the pound cake with our sister, and it was excellent. It would seem we sisters have different tastes, though. While we enjoyed the cake, our sister thought it could use a few banana slices. She always has the most unusual ideas. I have read parts of this Anne Frank's diary. Another writer sent it to us, but our sister told us that we should perhaps wait to read it until we hath recovered from our ordeal. Perhaps we shall seek it out again… Oh, Blueblood? We do not blame him for his actions. He was born under… unusual circumstances which cause him to feel inferior, and he believes he must act "royal" to keep his parentage out of the spotlight. We would rather not speak of this again, if thou dost not mind.

-Princess Luna, Co-Ruler of Equestria and Keeper of the Moon

* * *

((Oooh, touchy subject. Poor Luna. It's complicated, but according to my imagination, Luna's childhood reeeaaally sucked. I hope she willingly opens up about it. It'll be good for her to get it all off her chest.

;P _-Your Faithful Writer, Starbrooke_))


	13. Chapter 13

((Wow. So many people have been writing to Luna, it's kinda weird writing somepony else. It's good that Luna's getting some support, though.))

* * *

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I realize that I haven't been talking to everypony, or at least not since finals started, but they're over so I figured I'd say hi to the most studious pony I know. So, I heard that you have some knowledge about the royal family. Any chance you know what their last name is? I can't find a majority answer anywhere, arghh! But yeah, I sent some books from our universe that you might like. It should be Eragon and Game of Thrones. Anyways, just thought I'd say hi and see if you had any recommendations for me from Ponyville. I really need a good book to read while my friend finishes the art for his fanfics.

Yours truly

Alixzander

…

Dear Alixzander,

Princess Celestia has told me much about you. She says you and Luna get along well. I'm glad she's making friends. Last name? You mean like the Cakes? I don't think they have one. Most ponies don't have family names the way humans do. Usually ponies have similar names and talents to their families, but last names are a choice of the parents. I asked Celestia about it, and she said once they were called The Terra Dynasty, a long, long time ago. Thanks for the books; I can't wait to read them! And I almost forgot, Rain—somepony told me to send a few humans the Daring Do series. I have three copies of each, so I don't mind sending a few out! I've enclosed book one: _Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone_.

Happy Reading!

_-Twilight Sparkle_

* * *

((Not bad, if I do say so myself. :D))


	14. Chapter 14

((0_0. Who in the hoof wrote to Silver Spoon? I mean, she's not exactly the first pony I'd pick. Well, the writer does have a valid point. Enjoy the reply!))

* * *

Dear Silver Spoon,

I can't help but feel bad for you, having to hang around Diamond Tiara. I also can't help but admire you for being the first pony to clap for Granny Smith on Family Appreciation Day. That shows me that behind all the bullying, you have a good heart. I can tell you don't want to be mean; you just do it to stay friends with Diamond Tiara. However, I'd suggest you'd take a look at your so called "friend". Isn't she a little cruel? SHE was the true mastermind behind the whole Gabby Gums nightmare. Didn't you see how miserable and hurt everypony was because of her evil plan? And then she forced the Cutie Mark Crusaders into writing more gossip with blackmail! I'm sorry, but she is not the kind of pony a nice filly like you should hang around.

Then again, since Family Appreciation Day, you two haven't been hanging out together; at least, I haven't seen you two together. Did she get mad at you for supporting Granny Smith? Is she not your friend anymore? If so, then don't feel bad. I know you've been friends for a while, but look at how mean she is! You really should apologize to the Crusaders. Tell them that Tiara had influence you into bullying them and say you're really sorry. They'll surely understand, and then you'll have three new friends with hearts of gold, unlike Tiara's heart of stone.

Also, if you are still friends with the mean pony, try to make friends with the Crusaders anyway! Sure, Tiara will be mad, but really, is all that bullying and mean-ness something you should be doing? Trust me, it's better to make friends than enemies, and it's good to have peers that aren't consumed with cruelty and hatred. Who knows? Maybe if you four put your heads together, you could get Tiara to turn over a new leaf! I'd suggest doing nice things for her to show that there aren't any hard feelings for her past sins.

Well, that's all I got to say! Just remember, no good can come out of associating with the wrong crowd! Good luck with the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Your Friend,

Matthias Unidostres.

P.S. What does your Cutie Mark mean?

P.P.S. What does Diamond Tiara's Cutie Mark mean?

((Human Contact's Note: I enclosed another letter fully explaining the situation of this fanfiction to Miss Spoon, and she has fully agreed to publish this letter so long as Miss Tiara does not have access to internet))

…

Dear Matthias,

Umm, what? I don't have to hang out with Diamond Tiara, I _want_ to hang out with—okay, she's gone. Yeah, it's a pain. When we were little ((little-er—XD and now back to your regularly scheduled programming)), my dad and her dad were in business, and we were foal-sat together. Ever since then, we were best friends, but when we got older, I started feeling guilty. We were really mean to other ponies, but Diamond Tiara was my only friend, and I didn't want to lose her. Even if I did stand up to her, I don't think the other foals would like me after all the stuff I've done to them, and Diamond Tiara's not an enemy I want to have. I hope she doesn't figure out that I've been avoiding her, or I might as well be glue *shudder*. Maybe I could try talking to the Crusaders secretly…

Thanks I Guess,

-Silver Spoon

P.S. As far as I can tell, my cutie mark is a play on an old saying, "born with a silver spoon in her mouth", which means I'm spoiled. *sigh*.

P.P.S. Diamond Tiara's cutie mark means she rules her world with an iron hoof. I guess we're both destined to be spoiled brats.

* * *

((Aww. Poor Silver Spoon. Next thing you know, she's pressured into drugs and crap like that. Dang peer pressure.))


	15. Chapter 15

((Whew, I've been busy. TONS of letters! Thanks for the support!))

* * *

Dear Applebloom,

I am actually writing to the Cutie Mark Crusaders in general, but I view you as the leader, so I sent this letter to you. You did come up with the name, after all (Cutastically Fantastics? What was Sweetie Belle thinking?). Anyway, I want you to know that I admire you and your friends' efforts to find your Cutie Marks. Now, the bigger ponies might get mad at me for telling you this, but I think you should continue trying as many things as you can, even if they don't get you your Cutie Marks. Why? Simple, it's fun! Let's say you all get your Cutie Marks. Well, now what? It's all over! No more Crusading! It's clear that no matter how much ponies gets frustrated with you, looking for your talents your own way is a much better experience. You'll probably eventually see your talents more obviously as you grow older, and then getting your Cutie Mark will be, as Rainbow Dash says, "Easy, peasy, one two threesy!" But know this, getting into a little trouble, making a little mess, annoying the bigger ponies a bit, and even getting covered in tree sap is worth going on some awesome adventures and trying new thing with your best friends! And even after your Crusades are done, you can still hang out and have fun together, seeing if you can combine your special talents to create something awesome!

Okay, now for some serious topics I have to discuss with you. First, you really should hang out with Twist and any of your other friends your age, because if you avoid other ponies just because they have Cutie Marks, well, then you're really no better than Diamond Tiara. Also, let's face it. One of you three will get their Cutie Marks first. I don't want any of you to be resentful of that one (or two). You're all friends, and you will help each other until all three of you get your Cutie Marks. Just wait and see!

Okay, last point, and I am putting myself and some other filly in great peril in telling you what I am about to tell you. If you wish to keep us safe, then you and your two friends must Pinkie Promise to never tell anyone what you are about to read. Go ahead! Pinkie Promise! I'm pretty sure Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense fired up and she's right behind you. Go ahead and do it.

Oh, and tell Pinkie hi!

Right, I recently wrote Silver Spoon a letter, and she wrote back. Guess what. She's as not at all as mean as Diamond Tiara. You see, Tiara was Spoon's only friend for so long, that she went along with all the bullying just to please her. And then, before she knew it, Spoon had nearly everyone against her, and felt so guilty, but she didn't want to make an enemy of Diamond Tiara. You see, Silver Spoon is basically all alone. Even more so now that she's been avoiding Tiara. Haven't you noticed that you don't see them together anymore? Also, you surely saw how Silver Spoon was the FIRST to clap for your Granny Smith on Family Appreciation Day, and DIDN'T support Tiara when she openly insulted Granny Smith (ugh! The evil little...). Silver Spoon has a good heart, you know it's true. Also, Silver Spoon may try to secretly talk with the three of you. If see does, welcome her, but do not let on that you know her situation, cause that would get her ticked off at me for not keeping it a secret. Just listen to what she has to say as if it's all new to you. But, I'd suggest that you maybe approach her by yourself if weeks/months pass without her approaching you. But don't let on that you know. Just ask a few questions and talk to her, making sure to mention her kindness on Family Appreciation Day. Just do not mention me, this letter, or anything you wouldn't have known without reading this letter. Also, _**make sure Diamond Tiara isn't around, or Silver Spoon is as good as glue! **_

Well, that's all I've got to say. Remember, happy Crusading, stay best friends, and above all else, act like you never read the third part of this letter.

TOP SECRET!

Your friend,

Matthias Unidostres

P.S. Where did you get that bow? It makes you look really cute!

…

((Editor's Note: With a little reading and episode watching, I was able to tell which filly was using the auto-write quill at which times. The names are written before each section when possible and necessary.))

Dear Matthias,

((Applebloom)) Thanks! You're right; we gotta stick together, no matter what! Even when we all have our cutie marks, we'll make a new club so we'll never be separated!

((Sweetie)) We do go to social events with other foals from school, nut I guess we could ask Twist or Archer to hang out sometime… Still, most of the foals we know aren't really the kind of ponies we like to hang out with. It's sorta a choice between Snips 'n' Snails or Diamond Tiara. I suppose we could still try…

((Scootaloo)) What? Silver Spoon? Why would we talk to _her_? She's a—((Sweetie)) Stop it, give her a chance, Scootaloo! She's not that bad, she just hangs out with Diamond Tiara. We Pinkie Promise not to tell _anyone_ about this.

-The Cutie Mark Crusaders

* * *

((LONGEST CHAPTER YET. It's got more words than The Doctor's age! *facehoof* I have no life.

Don't forget to review!))


	16. Chapter 16

((Yeah. I was bored, and the TV's taken, so I pulled up a letter from the "Maybe Publish" pile. Lily, you totally owe my sister.))

* * *

Dear Princess Luna,

I suppose I can avoid speaking about Blueblood, even if I do have a few ideas on how a royal pony should properly act... Would it help if... Oh no, I couldn't suggest it, you'd rather not speak of it. I sent a CD player along and a CD player of my most loved songs from Taylor Swift. Oh, and a new book, much more light hearted then the last. It is titled _A Little Princess_. It may get a little sniffle-causing in the middle, but I promise, it has a very happy ending. I also sent a small DVD player and a movie called _Kung-fu Panda_. Do you have Pandas in your world, Princess? I've seen lots of animals, but none like a panda. I've also sent a book on animals from a region on Earth called Asia (which is where pandas come from on Earth).

Love,

Lily

…

Dear Lily,

Thank ye for thy understanding, however, when we said we did not wish to speak of it, it was because we expected prying questions that we truly do not wish to answer. Thy advice is welcomed. We are somewhat familiar with the "CD", for another writer sent us a few when the first letters were sent, before the old rift was closed. They were mostly from a young colt named "Justin Beiber", but his style of music is much different from this "Taylor Swift". We enjoyed her music much more than Mr. Beiber's. Miss Taylor truly sings from the heart. Her songs are slow and thoughtful, with a touch of melancholy, rather like ourself. We appealed to our sister, and she has allowed us to read _The Diary of Anne Frank_. We have read a sizable amount, and just knowing what her future holds as she dreams of a career in the theater is truly heartrending. We shall begin _A Little Princess_ as soon as we finish _The Diary_. We viewed _Kung-fu Panda_. It was a tad unusual, but we cannot deny it brought us to a chuckle, and the message was clear and wholesome. Yes, there are pandas in Equestria. They are not sentient, but like most animals here, they are intelligent to a high degree. The book of animals was very enlightening. Are all of thy world's animals unintelligent? Is the human race the only sentient species? Are ye not lonely?

-Princess Luna, Co-ruler of Equestria and Keeper of the Moon

* * *

((Like how I praised Swift without criticizing Beiber? Ponies have taught me so much. ^_^))


	17. Chapter 17

((So… let's just pretend that long wait never happened, shall we? Heheheh… I was on vacation, and then I started another fic, but then I got stuck on it, so now I am writing more letters to jog my writer's block! I've actually found that this letter-writing is great for practice and writer's block-killing… And without further ado, letters!))

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Thank you very much for replying to my letter and I promise not to tell ANYPONY about the whole Daring Do thing. I was also wondering if you'd ever heard of Harry Potter. I've sent the first book "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" along with another punk rock CD since you liked the first one. It's one of Green Day's live albums, "Bullet in a Bible" which comes with a DVD.

Love From,

Adam

-Ok, to save paper I'll write to Twilight on the underside of this piece-

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Rainbow Dash says that you might be able to lend me the Daring Do books. I promise that I'll take good care of them and send each one back as soon as I've finished. (Note to self: Find a good place to hide them from my brother)

Love From,

Adam

P.S. I've sent along a couple of vinyl records too. One's for you (Bach: The Goldberg Variations) and the other one's for DJ Pon3 (Daft Punk's Homework, one of the best house albums ever created). I hope you like them.

…

Dear Adam,

Another book? If Derpy had ripped that package even a little bit… *shudders* I'd be the laughing stock of Ponyville!

Ri-ight… Sorry, this is Twilight. Rainbow is—what should I tell him you're doing? Seriously? Don't you think that sounds… I don't know, weird? Okay… If you say so… Sorry, Rainbow's doing… *sigh* doing opposite of reading, and definitely not huddled in the corner. There, I said it, happy? No, I don't think it sounded unconvincing, it's a letter! He can't hear us! … Are you gonna write this letter, or do I have to?

Y-yeah, Rainbow here, thanks for the book… and I think I'm gonna make a flight routine to one of the songs you sent… well, uhhh, I gotta go, so, umm, bye!

-Rainbow Dash

P.S. Twilight is sending the first Daring Do book with this letter, and she says thanks for the records.

((Oh Celestia that sucked))


	18. Chapter 18

((Hay everypony! I was going to post a letter to Rainbow Dash sent by a Mr. Richie, but I'm going to post this one instead. I think you'll understand when you read it, Richie. I'll post yours next time, I promise.))

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

At first I thought I would ask you to come to our world and pass judgment on a man called James Holmes. He came into a cinema and killed 12 people, one a little girl just learning how to swim.

Since then I remembered that living things can not cross over, so I hope you will grant a different request.

Will you and Princess Luna please hold a candle light service for the lives lost to such a senseless act? I know it's not a problem in your realm, and therefore it doesn't impact you or your ponies, but it would mean a lot to me for you to do this.

Love,

Lily

…

Dear Lily,

It troubles me to hear that such a tragic thing has happened in your world. While you are correct in that I cannot pass between worlds, even if I could, I do not believe in "passing judgment" as you put it. Every "villain" will eventually get what is coming to them, even if the legal system can't catch up with them. Luna has agreed to hold a vigil with me for those who have passed from your world, however. She says hello and wishes those affected by the tragedy to receive comfort in this trying time.

We Are So Sorry For Your Loss,

~Princess Celestia, Keeper of the Sun and Co-Ruler of Equestria

* * *

((You're welcome, Lily. If there's anypony who was affected by the Colorado shooting reading this, I want you to know that I'm praying for you, and I wish you peace in the darkness caused by that disturbed young man's actions.))


End file.
